Introduction to the Rocket Scientist
As the title says, I am an aspiring rocket scientist. More precisely, I am Aerospace Engineering student. And that little descriptor about sums up my favorite things. I am in my final semester of college and absolutely cannot wait to graduate. I am more than ready to get into the work force and start building the future. To prepare for this future, I have done a lot of stuff in my college career. This includes, but is not limited to, building rockets, robots, and cleaning up asbestos. Don't worry, I'll explain more in a minute. Starting from the easiest thing on that list; robots. I am the vice-president of the Sooner Competitive Robotics here at OU. This means I get to be a technical adviser for each of the robotics teams and make that they have everything they need to succeed. I also get to help them when they mess up their robots, and cant get them to work right. Robots are great, but coding really kind of sucks, which is why I prefer to stick with my rockets an
Geoff, I loved the story told from Hanuman's perspective. You can feel his plight in those first couple paragraphs, feel the fear. It is a strong beginning, and definitely elicits an emotional response from your reader right off the bat. Furthermore, his "pissed off" attitude towards Sita for getting him imprisoned, adds another emotional dimension to the story, something relatable. If I had to guess, based on your vivid descriptions of the locations, you play Dungeons and Dragon's as well, and as such are great at bringing a location to life with nothing but words, triggering your reader/listeners imagination. Overall, the story is colorful, full of emotion, narrating the reader into the room, even into the characters' heads, giving me the feeling that I was there. The only "what if" I have is maybe change the sentence beginnings in the first paragraph away from "He" into more action words, but overall I have to say this is my favorite story I have read in this class so far.
ReplyDeleteHello Geoff,
ReplyDeleteThis story was so intriguing. I wanted to read more and more but obviously we are not there in the semester just yet. I love how much detail you put into each character because I agree that in the book they do not explain how powerful they look. You are excellent at getting into your work and making it the best possible. In my head I imagine ten feet beasts that could kill you with one hand. I wonder if they could kill humans that easily? I also wonder what the monkey would have looked like in real life? I bet that he is close to the way you described him. What if the story ended with the monkey killing Ravana? That would end the story in such a different way from any other story. I think you are a very good writer and you will for sure be a person I choose to read time and time again.
Geoff,
ReplyDeleteI loved how you wrote this story. It felt dramatic from the beginning, and I wanted to continue reading it til the end. I really loved how you painted a vivid, and honestly epic image of Hanuman barreling through the city incinerating those in his path. Ravana's dialogue made him seem menacing, and a very effective part of the story. His power and pride were on full display when he just left Hanuman and told his guards to deal with that. I also really liked the pacing of your story. By that I mean your mix of paragraph sizes, some were longer some were shorter, and that made this easy to read. What if Hanuman managed to take sita away from Ravana, and escort her back to Rama.
Hey Geoff!
ReplyDeleteI really loved this story, it was an awesome choice to tell it from Hanuman's perspective. I can imagine Hanuman is pretty irritated at having jumped across the sea to rescue Sita, and then have her proceed to tell him that she can't climb onto him to go back because he is a man other than Rama. Having Hanuman be desperate to use his powers to take revenge was a really clever way to show the monkey's cleverness in the face of adversity. I also really liked your description of Ravana, this version seemed a lot more menacing than a man with ten heads, one of which is a donkey. I wonder what Ravana thought when Hanuman went on his rampage, seeing as how he thought he was just a creature that could easily be disposed of! He probably never imagined that this monkey would burn a large part of his city to the ground! I liked your portrayal of Hanuman as King Kong, this is similar to how I imagined him as well, because it's the only way I could make sense of a monkey leaping across the ocean.
Hey Geoff. I am really enjoying the layout of your portfolio. I am personally a big fan of your banner choice. Anything space related is enjoyable to me. I am unsure of how well it fits your portfolio's stories however. I would like a direct link to your blog comment wall on your home page. This just makes it slightly easier to for me to comment on your work. Hanuman seems like an interesting character to write about. One thing is didn’t care for in your story was the text size. It was just a little too big for my tastes. Your story itself is great. You have an ability to make the reader imagine what there are reading. The amount of detail in this little story is truly spectacular. I wish to you luck and look forward to reading your future work.
ReplyDeleteHello, Geoff your page is set up really good because from the start my attention was caught, your backsplash picture is what really caught my attention. Seeing this for the first time and seeing that as the first thing on your page made me want to keep reading the story. At first I was a little confused on what was going on, but the more I read the better of an understanding I got of the story. You had a lot of detail which I liked a lot, the context of the story was never undetailed or confusing. everything was put out there nicely and very detailed which made me want to keep reading. I also liked the author's notes or ideas at the end that draw my attention to see what you have in store for the next stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Geoff!
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! You are quite the writer! I loved your use of certain vocabulary (for example, monolith), which really elevated and portrayed your image without being overly complicated. I hate to nitpick something that has clearly been carefully edited, just to have something to say and complete my word count. I enjoyed your portrayal of Hanuman, because he's exactly as I envisioned him in the stories. He's actually one of my favorite characters, alongside Rama's brother. He is powerful and loyal without the arrogance so common in those types of people. His personality contrasts well with Ravana's, and his subsequent setting aflame of the village is a nice little retribution. Great work! I'll continue to follow your project's progress, and I know I'll enjoy reading future additions.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. It was nice to read about Hanuman's experience. The story was very detailed and made it easy to imagine the scene and what's going on. Hanuman's thought when he encounters Sita was funny too. Sita definitely should've been more considerate especially since he's there to save her. I'm curious what she did to make him think that though since there isn't much information about that. I like that you mixed it with a narrative and dialogue. It made the story even more interesting to read. I totally agree with you about how they make Ravana seem really evil. It seemed like his people liked him in the original story. Even though he made bad decisions I feel like he took care of his people since they were so loyal to him. Have you thought about making the font a little smaller? I felt like it was harder to read because it was so big. Documenting your revision is a really good idea. I think I might do that as well!
DeleteHi Geoff! I just finished reading your second story (though you put it first in your portfolio.) I really enjoyed a lot of aspects of this story. You built suspense really well. I loved the way Hanuman starts off not being concerned with whatever is chasing him but as the water rises, the reader begins to feel that stress building. I think this could be furthered if you included a little more of hanuman's thoughts, like you did in the first paragraph. The only description I would add is something about the scale of the monster; after reading about Hanuman in the ramayana, I can imagine the monster being anywhere between a large snake to a godzilla sized beast! This sentence "Releasing his leg, the creature reared back and he got his first look of the horror from below." was a little confusing, but was by no means a deal breaker. I really like your website setup. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the red image of the beach followed by the red image of "Hanuman" on fire is really neat. I hope to hear more of Hanuman's journeys!
ReplyDeleteHello there Geoff,
ReplyDeleteI quite enjoyed reading the story "Hanuman's Plight", Everything about it was spectacular. From the banner and the perfectly placed image, to set the scene, to the imagery within your words, to create incredible images in my mind. This was honestly the same as reading any other well written fictional novel. There was one error I found while reading that I would like to point out. It is located in line 2: "His only light come from a crack in the wall". I believe it should be "came", but I am not the best with grammar. The way you laid out your storybook was also extremely cool! I very much enjoyed how you changed it up to have Hanuman locked away in a cell for an extended period of time, due to Sita's mishap. I wonder if Hanuman could have taken down the entirety of Lanka by himself in your version of the story. He does seem incredibly powerful.
Wow Geoff, that first story was incredible! The detail and imagery were on point. You had me on the edge of my seat for sure! The images are perfect for setting the scene. As for the second story, I loved it as well. Your description of Ravana was more in depth than any other I've read. I like that you explained that he was as strong as a man with 20 arms but did not actually have that many limbs. I also like that Hanuman had some sort of powers. His catching on fire and not being harmed by it in the original was weird and ungraceful. Here, he is powerful and smart. You mention that you wanted to bring Agni into your story. What about when Hanuman is in his cell? Maybe he reminisces or dreams about the god? Honestly, it's hard to find something to critique about your storybook because you've done a fantastic job so far. I will definitely be back to read what more you add!
ReplyDeleteHey Geoff! I am really liking your project so far. Hanuman was one of my favorite characters in the readings. I think it is really cool that you are going deeper into Hanuman’s background and trying to fill in some of the details that were left out. I think you did a great job in the first story of building up to the monster’s reveal. I definitely felt the tension as I was waiting for it to finally jump out. As for the second story, I liked that you reimagined his powers. I agree that just changing size is a little bland, and I think you managed to add a bit of flare to it without going overboard. I also liked that you made the story a bit grittier. I think that this style fits the story much better. Overall, great stories. I !m looking forward to seeing this finished!
ReplyDeleteHey there, Geoff! I think that you had a really great story concept and plan. I like how you stuck with a specific character on their adventures through different Indian Epics. I am doing something similar, and I have found it to be quite enjoyable. I think your overall layout for the page looks great. The background images are looking great and the overall setup is great as well. The first story was a really great read. You incorporated a lot of visual details and effects. I really like how you made the story from scratch. There was barely a mention of it in the Ramayana. You also did a good job in making Hanuman vulnerable as he struggled to defeat the sea demon. The second story was also a great one. The detail was again on point. I really appreciated the more exciting exit of Hanuman. You have a great knack for making a story come alive.
ReplyDeleteHello Geoff! I really like your banner photo and the design of your website! I like how you decided to focus your storybook on Hanuman. He was one of my favorite characters. Your introduction is short and sweet. It is refreshing to have an introduction that is to the point. The first story, Abyssal Struggle, is a wonderful story! I love the amount of detail you placed into the story. It made me feel like I was watching a movie. You definitely did a great job with telling Hanuman's story! The sea demon picture gave me the spooks, but I suppose that is the purpose of it. Your second story, Hanuman's Plight, was also very well written! The banner photo really exemplifies what you are trying to portray. I love how much information that is placed into the story and how much you research. I look forward to reading the rest!
ReplyDelete